


Nobody’s a picture perfect (but we’re worth it)

by liannyeong



Series: If happy is her (I'm happy for you) [4]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:01:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29460207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liannyeong/pseuds/liannyeong
Summary: A step towards the end.
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Original Female Character(s), Im Jaebum | JB/Reader
Series: If happy is her (I'm happy for you) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2163819
Kudos: 8





	Nobody’s a picture perfect (but we’re worth it)

"For the first time, I'm not siding with my own daughter," Sujin's mother says as she places a cup of tea before her. She takes the seat opposite of her, elbows on the glass dining table. Sujin groans at her mother's comment, but doesn't whine about it. "You've done enough damage to your recovering marriage, I doubt it can be mended."

"It was never meant to be mended in the first place," Sujin sneers. She watches the steam that emerges from the surface of the liquid, pointedly avoiding looking at her mother's face. "He actually had the audacity to bring that woman--"

"Did he even say that? Did he even admit that to you?" Sujin's mother cuts her mutters. Her tone is sharp that Sujin knows she's on the verge of scolding her. It makes her stare at her cup even harder, burning a hole into the porcelain. "Didn't he say he didn't know how she got there?"

"Who knows, he could be lying," Sujin mumbles into her tea as she brings the cup to her lips. She takes a small sip, and the liquid burns her tongue. It's still too hot to drink.

"Han Sujin." She nearly winces with the way her mother says her name so sternly. She looks up from the cup before her, slowly putting the cup down. Her mother's face is nothing close to gentle and warm whenever Sujin whines to her. If anything, her mother's face is something so foreign, one that she hasn't seen since she became an adult. Sujin shrinks at the glower on her face. She feels like a child once again, scolded for throwing an unnecessary tantrum. 

"Stop acting like you're the only person who got hurt," her mother states flatly, arms crossed on the table. "Did you even hear him out?"

"Mother, I was _angry_ \--"

"No, listen to me, young lady," Sujin's mother snaps. "Now, you're in the wrong because you're twisting his words to soothe yourself. You refuse to admit you're in the wrong for jumping to conclusions without any clarifications. You didn't give him a chance to explain himself, but you acted on your emotions and walked away. Do you think that's fair for him?"

Sujin presses her lips tight. As much as she wants to argue, she knows better than start a fight with her mother. After all, what her mother said are true. Sujin can't deny anything. She had let her emotions cloud her mind once more, let it control her actions. Yes, it's unfair of her to just stomp off, but how can she not when she saw them kiss right in front of her eyes? That woman's head was trapped between Jaebum's arms. Clearly, Jaebum backed her against the bark of the tree. Clearly, it was Jaebum who initiated the kiss. Of course Sujin would get angry. Who wouldn't?

"Look at you, Sujin-ah," her mother's gentle voice returns, drawing her attention back. A hand reaches for hers, resting atop of it. "I was happy when I saw smiles on your face for the past few months. You looked truly happy with Jaebum. But now... you're back to moping around."

Flashbacks of the year before comes to her mind, from the moment she decided to leave Jaebum, to the moment she packed her bags, stripped the place clean of her existence, to the moment she left the documents on the table. Then the memories of the past few months when Jaebum reappeared in her life and tried to win her back. Those happy times of getting to know each other again as if it's their first time in doing everything: the butterflies she felt in her stomach when she first held Jaebum's hand after a long while, the racing of her heart as she pecked his cheek for the first time in months, the fuzzy feeling inside when they actually touched. So much has happened over a span of a year, yet it feels like they're back to square one. 

"I was happy. I truly was but h-he..." Sujin chokes on her words, tears suddenly pouring out. "H-he hurt me again..."

"Oh Sujin-ah," her mother coos as she goes over to her side, wrapping the younger in a hug. Sujin doesn't shy away from her mother's touch, doesn't hold back her tears at all. She lets it all flow out, cries into her chest while her mother stays at the same spot, patting her head and rubbing her back to comfort her. 

Her mother pulls away a little just to kiss her crown. Sujin hold onto her mother tighter, just as how a crying child does to his mother. "I want what's best for you, Sujin-ah. I just want to see my daughter happy," her mother says softly, eyes meeting her daughter's. "And I have never seen anything or anyone else make you happy as how Jaebum does."

Sujin sobs, pulling away from her mother. She can't see her mother's face clearly because of the tears in her eyes. "But am I even the source of his happiness?" Sujin questions, voice trembling. "He keeps hurting me... Am I so undeserving of his love?"

Her mother shakes her head, threading through her hair before cupping her face with both hands. The rough pads of her thumbs rub against Sujin's eyes, clearing the blurriness earlier. Her mother's gentle smile appears. "That's why you have to talk to him. How will you know if you don't listen to the words he didn't say?"

\---

Sujin doesn't immediately try to reach out to Jaebum first. She waited a few days, gathering enough courage and calming her own self first. Jaebum actually listened to her: he didn't contact her at all. He didn't appear at her doorstep, nor did he called her mother. The fact that he truly fulfilled her 'request', it's scary. Sujin wonders if she'll face his wrath when she finally musters up the courage to talk to him. Maybe this time, Jaebum would be the one to walk away.

It takes Sujin a few minutes (which felt like hours) to calm her anxious heart just outside Jaebum's -- their -- apartment before she punches in the passcode to enter. At times like this, Sujin is thankful the male didn't change the passcode at all. At least he needn't open the door so she doesn't have to face him immediately. At least there isn't a chance of him purposely ignoring her. Taking a deep breath, Sujin pushes the door open slowly, inch by inch, peering her head inside before yanking it full. The apartment is dark, no sign of Jaebum around. She shuts the door behind her quietly, calling Jaebum's name even more timidly. She creeps into the body of the house, glancing all around, hoping to see a sign of life. There's none, and Sujin instinctively heads to Jaebum's -- their -- room. The door is shut, and Sujin hopes the male is inside. She gives a knock, but receives no response when she calls his name either. So she turns the door handle, peering her face into the room.

Just like the apartment, it's dark but Sujin's eyes have already adjusted to the low light, easily spotting a lump of body on the bed. She comes closer, towards the edge of the bed. Jaebum is all curled up into a ball, bedsheet bunching around him, the duvet covering the lower half of his stomach onward.

"Jaebum-ah," Sujin calls out, voice so gentle like it will break the fragile silence in the air.

Jaebum doesn't react, only curls up tighter, as if his body is in pain. Sujin pads over to the bedside table and switches the night lamp on. Jaebum winces at the intrusion of light, pulling the duvet over his body.

"Jaebum-ah, it's me," Sujin says, pulling the duvet back down to see his face. Jaebum peeks an eye open, before slowly opening both of his eyes fully. He blinks blankly at her, as if he's in a daze. As if he can't recognize Sujin at all. The female only flashes a weak smile. "It's me, Jaebum-ah."

"You're not real..." Jaebum trails off, expression still blank. Then his eyes start to turn moist, his brows slanting downwards with each passing second. With the dim light and his full face shown, Sujin can finally roam her eyes around his features. His condition is bad: dark circles under his puffy eyes, his hair badly disheveled, his face thinner than she remembers. Sujin crawls into the bed, getting under the duvet and close to his body. She props on her elbow, cradling his face with the free hand, directing him to fix his gaze on her only. Her fingers brush hair strands that fall onto his face, carding it all back. He must have been in this state for days, considering his hair isn't as smooth as she remembers.

Jaebum's hand slowly reaches for her face, slightly trembling. He places his hand onto her cheek, and Sujin leans in to the touch. His fingers are cold to the touch, no warmth radiating out like it used to. His fingers dance on her skin, gliding from one part to another, from her cheek to her nose and down to her lips. His finger lingers there, his gaze fixed on it too. 

"You can't be real," Jaebum whispers more to himself, sorrow evident in his voice. "Sujin will never come back after what happened... She will never... There's no way..." His voice quivers and tears spill out of his eyes. 

As if he's got no strength left, his fingers slip off her skin but Sujin catches with her hand. She takes the fingers on her lips and kisses them joint by joint until she reaches the knuckles. Then she guides his hand back to her cheek, gazing at him so warmly. She smiles at him reassuringly, whispering back, "I'm real, Jaebum-ah."

"It must be a dream..." the male trails off, still in disbelief. Sujin doesn't correct him at all, but leans forward to press a gentle kiss on his forehead. Her eyes are shut tight, and everything she can't express out flows into the kiss. She hopes Jaebum feels it, understands it and believes that she is indeed by his side. Jaebum's hands go to her waist, pressing their bodies close. Sujin rolls them so that she's laying on her back with him resting half of his body on top of her. She tucks his head under her chin and rubs soothing circles on his back. Jaebum tightens his hold around her, burying his face into her shirt, and Sujin feels wet spots. She plants another kiss on his crown then shuts her eyes.

\---

The morning that comes, Sujin wakes to a vice grip at her waist. Nails digging into her skin through the material of her shirt, Sujin is sure blood will be spilled. She winces at the pressure, trying to pry Jaebum's fingers off her waist but it only makes him hold her tighter. So she shakes his body awake, and when Jaebum's eyes fly open, the grip loosens and she breathes easy. His touch burns at her sides, but she pays no attention to it as Jaebum's sitting up. His hair a mess, sticking out in places, but she still finds him painfully handsome. She reaches out to pat his hair down but Jaebum avoids her hand. He shifts away from her, knees tucked to his chest, arms drawn around himself.

"If you're planning on leaving after this, I suggest you leave now," he says, eyes not meeting hers. 

Sujin lets out a sigh as she sits up too. She truly has done it this time. For Jaebum to refuse her touch, for Jaebum to actually push her away, she must have hurt him so bad. It feels like a toxic relationship where both of them gets hurt. It feels like nothing will ever come out fine. In spite of it all, they still made tons of happy memories with smiles and laughter so sincere, hugs and kisses so warm. The toxicity is nothing compared to the love they have for each other.

"I'm not," Sujin says. "I'm not leaving you anymore." 

Jaebum eyes her suspiciously. Sujin sighs again, shifting towards the headboard and leaning against it. "We had our fair share of pain. You made mistakes and so did I." Sujin wants to close this distance between them, wants to touch his hand, wants to assure him. But she traps her hands underneath her stretched out legs. Jaebum didn't force anything onto her while he was trying to woo her back. She'll do the same. "I jumped to conclusions. I didn't give you a chance to explain." 

"I promise I won't be like that again," Sujin vows. "I realized I've been running away from this whole thing from the start. I should have confronted you first. I should have listened to what you had to say first." 

"But it takes two to make a relationship work," Sujin continues. "I want _us_ to work again. Do you?"

"Of course," Jaebum answers almost immediately. "Of course I want us again."

"Then I will need your honesty, Jaebum-ah."

Jaebum nods. "You'll have it. My honesty, my heart, my everything. I'll treat you better this time. I swear I will."

Sujin smiles. "You'll have my all too."

Jaebum returns the smile, and the next thing Sujin knows, Jaebum is surging forward, engulfing the female in a tight hug. She can barely breathe with his embrace, but she doesn't mind it one bit. Jaebum nuzzles his face into her neck, whiffing her scent. "You have no idea how much I dread the days when you were not here with me."

Sujin worms her arms around to pat his back arm as a form of assurance. "I'm here now. And I'm staying."

Jaebum seems to take it as a cue to hug her even tighter and roll her atop of him. His hands slide down to her waist where they perfectly hook at the sides. He gives a light squeeze but Sujin winces in pain much to his surprise. Her hand reflexively goes to the side of her waist as she rolls off the male. She pulls her shirt up a little to check her waist. Red crescents are engraved on her skin, though thankfully, there's no breakage of the skin from how Jaebum's nails dug into her skin while they slept during the night.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to--" Jaebum breathes, a hand shooting out to touch the skin.

"It's fine. I probably deserved it anyway," Sujin dismisses it with a chuckle as she pulls her shirt down again. But Jaebum's hand doesn't leave that spot. He gently prods the female to lay down, bunching her shirt just above the marks he left. Then he hovers over her, a hand on her hip to stabilize himself, he kisses each and every crescent mark on the skin. Sujin finds it ticklish, but she resists the urge to thrash about. So she finds purchase by tangling her fingers into the hair at the back of his head and pulling it. Jaebum seems to get the hint, for he presses one last kiss on the affected area before sitting up. His eyes roam around her form, orbs darker than before. Sujin reaches a hand out to him, and Jaebum understands.

\---

It's easy to put things into place. Bit by bit, they start mending their relationship once again. The trust and love they build this time is much more stronger than before. Jaebum is now more honest with his feelings and says his mind, while Sujin starts to listen more before taking any action. Back then, they were like fire and oxygen -- when one was burning, the other fueled it further and chaos ensues. But now, they're like fire and water -- when one is in flames, the other dampens it -- a complementary pair. 

"I've been thinking..." Sujin begins as she sets down her utensils on a Saturday evening at Jaebum's place. Weekends are the days they sleep over at each other's apartments, alternating every other week. "I don't want to move in here anymore."

Jaebum looks up from his bowl of rice, chopsticks in his mouth, alarmed. He chews on the food in his mouth hastily, gulping it down before he blurts, "What? Why? Sujin-ah, did I do som--"

She lets out a chuckle, reaching over to pat his thigh underneath the table. She rests her hand there. "You did nothing, Jaebum-ah. It's just that... I'd like you to move into _my_ place. I don't want the chance of that woman anywhere near us."

Jaebum takes the hand on his thigh, squeezing it gently. "I doubt she would come close to me -- or us -- anymore. But if you insist, I don't mind shifting to your place."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I kinda like the small space. It just means--" Jaebum grins, dragging his chair closer to the female by momentum, without standing up. Their shoulders bump and Jaebum has a mischievous smile on his lips. "--I have to stick to you all the time."

"As if you're not doing it now," Sujin groans, pretending all annoyed as she rolls her eyes for the dramatic effect. She turns her head away to hide the smile that tugs at the corners of her lips, but Jaebum caught on it before she could. He laughs, an arm coiling around her shoulder, pulling her torso towards his own. She ends up giggling like a schoolgirl when her head rests on his broad shoulder. She tilts her head so that she can bury her face into his neck, breathing in his musky scent combined with the smell of his body wash. It's an uncomfortable position with the way her torso is slanted and she can feel the stretch of the muscles at the side of her waist, but she doesn't mind one bit. She loves it anyway. She loves how close she is to the male, how he fully dotes on her now, how they get each other's jokes again, how they're living in the same frequency.

Sujin lets out a contented sigh, earning a small laughter from the male. She looks up, confused, but he reasons that her exhale tickled. So Sujin playfully blows another onto his neck, eliciting another laughter from him. Jaebum starts returning the favor, but instead of doing it to her neck, he does it at her face. She results in pinching her nose, waving a hand in front, jokingly gesturing how his breath stinks. She elbows the male, shifting herself away from him. But Jaebum follows after her. Then she starts kicking his legs lightly, and it becomes a game of footsie under the dining table.

It's easy to put things into place now. They can act like little children: laughing a lot, making goofy faces at each other, just fooling around almost all the time. But at the same time, they can be matured adults: talking things out, sorting their matters, overcoming challenges together. It's like they finally mastered a dance together, perfectly synchronizing to the rhythm of the music. They understand that when one takes a step forward, the other must step back to avoid clashes. They match to the beat of the music, complementing each other's moves so that it's not messy.

It was tough then, but everything's easier now. Because everything is finally falling perfectly into place.

\---

It doesn't take long for Jaebum to shift into Sujin's single apartment. He packed his things bit by bit throughout the week, so that by the weekend, he drove to Sujin's place in a car stuffed with bags and boxes of his possessions. Thankfully, the apartment can accommodate two people, fitting just nicely all of their things combined, though Sujin did have to throw some of her old clothes out for Jaebum's. After a long day of adjusting, they're cuddled up on her bed, bodies pressed together in a confined space, worn out but still very much awake.

Jaebum lays on his back, with Sujin resting half of her body on top of his. Her ears presses against his chest, listening to the beating of his heart. It's like a lullaby -- the rhythm slow and steady, her own keeping to the same pace. She traces circles on the cotton material of his shirt. Jaebum plays with the strands of her hair, stroking her head gently.

"Jaebum-ah, I've been meaning to ask you..." Sujin begins, whispering into his chest. Jaebum hums, urging her to continue. It takes her some time to go on, afraid of the answer he will give. Afraid of the truth that will emerge from his lips. She props up on an elbow, and Jaebum's hand stills in the air. "Why did you cheat on me?"

She sees clearly how his expression falls, feels the way his hand drops to the mattress right next to her waist. His eyes dart away from her face, clearly uncomfortable at the question. But Sujin wants to know the truth no matter how she's afraid of it. She needs to know why he did it. Maybe it was due to her lacking in certain aspects, so if she knows the truth, she could be better. Maybe if she knows, she knows how to make Jaebum stay forever.

Jaebum bites his lower lip, nervous. "She was always around," he begins, "Knew how to cheer me up when I was stressed with work. So I guess I just... felt inclined towards her. I liked her company during work but I didn't... expect that it would go further than that. I didn't expect I'd..."

Jaebum lets out a sigh, but still doesn't meet her eyes. "I knew I wasn't treating you right. I knew I was wrong to neglect you every night. But our relationship had become quite distant and it felt like you and I were strangers living in the same house. So I kept staying out later and later," Jaebum continues.

"But suddenly you suggested a short trip to somewhere and I couldn't find the heart to turn you down because you seemed so excited about the thought of it," Jaebum adds on, smiling at the memory. "And that trip made me relive my feelings for you again." 

He flicks his eyes onto the female, dark brown orbs starts to water as he speaks once more, nearly choking on his words, "But you left suddenly and I felt horrible. I was angry at first, but how could I when I cheated on you? I was in the wrong. It wasn't right of me to get angry. So I wanted to salvage our relationship. Start all over, if necessary. It was all fine until she appeared again at our trip." His expression pained, little drops of liquid flowing down his face. "I swear I ended things with her before I approached you. But I guess I hurt her too, so she tried to wreck our relationship by tracing me down to the cabin. She called me that night, asked me to meet her just outside. I told her off, but she pulled me and forced a kiss on me. I swear I didn't--" 

Sujin brings a hand up, wiping away the drying tears with her finger. She then rests her palm against his cheek, grazing the skin with her thumb. "Jaebum-ah, it's okay. I've forgiven you for a long while now," she says. "Like I said before, you had your mistakes, I had mine." 

Jaebum brings his hands up to cradle her face. He tucks away the strands that fall onto her face. Sujin leans against his touch. His eyes flicker with something unreadable. This look on his face is new -- it's like a mixture of emotions, the shell rattling to be broken, but Jaebum's trying hard to keep it all under control. This expression... Vulnerability, Sujin guesses. It's like there's a hurricane brewing underneath his calm expression, and with every second, there's just something that is ripped off.

"Jaebum-ah?" she calls out. "Is something wrong? Why do you look... sad?"

The male blinks, though the emotions in his eyes doesn't disappear. He breaks into a smile, which Sujin thinks is a melancholic one because her heart twinges. Jaebum's smiles don't make her heart ache anymore, so to feel it once more tells her something is amiss.

"Do you really mean it?" his voice comes out weak. "Do you really forgive me?"

"Yeah."

"Even though I hurt you so many times?"

"Yeah."

"You really..." His eyes roam her face. "Even though I..."

The words he left out are the ones she hears. Jaebum had been afraid. He was afraid she would blow up, afraid she would leave again. But Sujin thinks she won't run away anymore. She's tired of packing her things and leaving without goodbyes. She's tired of running away from the problem. She's tired of letting go of things so dear to her. This time, she wants to fight for it. She doesn't want to quit on them anymore.

"I believe you, Jaebum-ah. I believe _in_ you," Sujin says.

Jaebum's eyes water once more and Sujin leans in to kiss his forehead. She lets her lips linger there before pulling away. Jaebum's eyes are fixed on her face, then it happens way too fast -- Jaebum grabbing her by the shoulders, rolling her on her back. Sujin gasps at being manhandled, at the sight of Jaebum hovering above her. She expects him to pepper kisses down her body, but is surprised when drops of liquid lands on her face. Jaebum's face contorts as if he's in pain: brows furrowed together, eyes squeezed shut. Sujin doesn't know what's really happening, but the only thing she can do is to let the male cry his heart out if that'll make him feel better. Sujin cups his face with her hands. At the touch, Jaebum's eyes fly open, and Sujin shoots him a warm smile. Jaebum's eyes waver a little before he lowers his body atop of hers. His body weight is too heavy for Sujin to hold, but she doesn't mind anyway as she wraps her arms around the male. Being there for him at times when he's most vulnerable is a priority.

Sujin just hushes the male, rubbing slow circles on his back to comfort him. Jaebum's body slips off a little so that only half is resting on top of hers, allowing her to breathe easy. He nuzzles his nose into her neck, drapes an arm over her waist. It doesn't take long for Sujin to hear his slow and steady breathing, and it definitely doesn't take long for Sujin to fall asleep too.

\---

When Sujin stirs awake, she feels the tangle of their limbs. Jaebum is still wrapped into her arms, and Jaebum still hasn't budge away from her at all. His arm is still over her waist. Sujin cranes her neck to peer into the male's face, smiling when he's still deep asleep. Sujin brushes away his bangs and she can't help but touch the two moles above his left eye. Then, she slowly traces her finger down to each of his features. When her finger reaches his lips, his hand shoots out from underneath the sheets, wrapping around her wrist. She gasps at the sudden grip.

"It tickles," Jaebum's voice is still thick with sleep. His eyes slowly open, and he doesn't hide away the fondness in his face as he smiles. "Good morning."

Sunlight seeps into the room through the curtains, but Sujin thinks the radiance that emits from Jaebum's very being lights up the room. The chirping of the birds outside can be heard, and for some reason, Sujin just knows that the day will be a peaceful one.

"Good morning," Sujin greets back, leaning in for a kiss. It would be disgusting to do so with their morning breaths, but she couldn't care less. She has been waiting way too long for this. She missed the days when she could wake up next to the male, cuddle up with him anytime, just breathe the same air as him. If this is the start of the good old days, then she's more than willing to get it all back. Jaebum lets their lips touch before nuzzling his face into her neck like the night before, tugging her closer.

Sujin sighs contentedly. The one she loves in her arms, her heart feels light, her spirits lifted -- it feels like a beautiful dream, one that she hadn't had for a long time. But Sujin knows this isn't a dream and she has never felt happier alive.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](https://liannyeong.tumblr.com) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/liannyeongfics).  
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